Still Contentment

Am I still feeling contentment? Well, strangely, yes, in its own strange little manner.

It was a very strong feeling on the weekend and just before, and now sort of a little less, but I think a lot of that has to do with the normal ebb and flow of the stresses of working and family and just living - both in the society we live in (which can be manic at times - but let's have some perspective here - I am sure that people living 100 years ago, 200 years, 300 years ago, even 3,000 years ago or more, felt, at the time, and from one time to another, that they lived in a manic sort of society that put all sorts of pressures on them, one way or another (and that there may have been others that did not exactly feel this way either) and from the very fact that we are just living, ie being alive - just breathing and heart-beating is an ebb and flow pressurised stress-ful type of thing - why do you think our bodies and minds eventually wear out and we die?

So, there is all that stuff con-bobulating on the surface, with the awareness and continued strong feeling of solid contentment providing the foundation for ongoing existence.

So far, a pretty good feeling to have, and something to embed in one's psyche and physique, to have available as a resource at some future point when events conspire to topple one's contentment control.

Anyway, we will see how long it goes for and how we can continue in this new world.

Just now back from lunch.
Must write some more.
It is actually quite absurd, this feeling.
Things were dead-level before lunch at work - just work, nothing special (and, consequentially (I think) no real additional awareness of the feeling of contentment).
Yet I am at lunch and the feeling wells again - ever so gently.
And then I am walking back to work and I see an outdoor sculptor and feel how wonderful is it that there is something there, and I see an old van stop for someone to cross the road at a roundabout and I marvel (yes, marvel!) at the wonder of that old beat-up van stopping for someone to cross the road.

Thus the awareness comes that this feeling of contentment (as it has been so-called so far) is not just the bland, benign, "who really cares" feeling of a nothingness which is passed off with a pretty title, but rather, an active state of deeper awareness and appreciation of each single element of this gorgeous universe we live in, and being at-peace, at-one with all that makes this world, that creates this wonder.

It is an active state that is strong and on-going, of persistence and solidity, not one of strenuous hyper-activity that soon consumes all its reserves, depletes its energy and fades into the background and disappears, left with nausea, ennui, whatever!

That is the intriguing thing about this feeling - it is not one thing, nor another, but everything.
Which makes it interesting to see how long it maintains itself, as itself, of itself.