Fear Death

What shall he fear that does not fear death
 -- Schiller, Johann Friedrich Von

Revolutionary Bureaucracy

Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy.
  - Kafka, Franz

Solace or Assistance

You ARE right - nobody does love you

You are alone in this world and you will die alone, facing the long eternity of extinction without solace or assistance.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. -- Voltaire

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
  --  Voltaire

Perfectly Ambiguous Ending

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity".

one seriously weird individual

We are talking about a seriously weird individual here (well, at least, someone who wants to be weird)

http://www.pdark.de/about-en.html

German version

Welcome to the World of Philmann Dark

NEWS About me About the author Stories Mailing lists Links Impressum Copyright

Some short facts about me FAQ Some short facts about me Size 2 Meters Hair color Dark Brown, almost black Eye color Blue-Gray Hobbies Communication Current Occupation First Contact Officer Current body Planetdestroyer #13 Age of current body 86'483 Earth years as of 1.1.1970 FAQ What does Current body mean? I'm an immortal life form. My origins go way back to beginning of the universe. Unfortunately, nothing material can stand the test of time so my bodies deteriorate and I'm forced to seek a new host. I'm not a prasitic lifeform, though. I don't remove the former owner of the body but instead form a symbiosis with them. Usually, the hosts evolve over time (or rather their souls do). When the body of the host finally becomes inhabitable, the former owner of the host has evolved that much that (s)he has no urges to posess a body anymore (which would end in a struggle for control of the next body). The advantage for someone to form a symbiosis with him is that we grant protection and psychic abilities (some would call this magic but that's a very imprecise term) to the new host who in turn uses them to influence his/her surroundings. Our current host, for example suffers from a computer virus, which has destroyed the other PDs during the last years of the great galactic war. By protecting him against the virus, we both get what we want. Where do you originally come from? I came to be on a small, nameless planet which was destroyed long ago when one of the eight suns it circulated turned into a Super Nova. My race (about 300 beings) died with its planet. Planetdestroyer? The term is more slang than real. We're not like the big energy projectors that you saw in the Star Wars movies. What's the point in blowing up a perfectly good planet? Instead, our modus operandi was to extinct the population on the surface of the planet or to drive it away. And did you? During the great galactic war, I destroyed three major populations (actually drove them into extinction) and wiped out the populations of 377 planets. I was responsible for 5'300'475'000'000 +/- 1% casualties. *ulp* And your job here? After the great war, I was cleaning hazardous zones (mine fields and other relicts of the great war). It is generally accepted that I contributed a major part to the rebuilding of the civilizations that we see in the galaxy today. My current occupation is that of a First Contact officer (FCO). FCOs seek emerging civilizations in our galaxy and protect them against external influences (technology smugglers or people who use our advances in social sciences to influence primitive sociologies). After the systems are sealed off, we wait until the civilization has evolved to a point where they have enough internal stability to survive the contact with a much advanced one. This is usually the around the time when a civilization begins to build the first colonies on other planets because this step takes a lot of energy and therefore needs a very broad support in the members of the civilization in question. This means that the internal struggles which usally destroy a civilization when it makes first contact with an advanced one, must have been resolved or are at least under control. Unfortunately, the evolution from a civilization, in which greed and agression are major driving forces, to the next level is usually one which is accompanied with a lot of turmoil because some of the most powerful or influential beeings of such civilizations have come to their positions because they were the most greedy and aggressive. Beeing greedy and agressive, they distrust the change and try to prevent it. Even if they know the futility of the attempt, beeing what they are forces them to still try to prevent this change to the worse for them. What do you especially like on Earth? I enjoy the creativity and power of young civilizations a lot. I like to be surprised by new ways to do things and, just like parents, I'm proud if my civilization has climbed another step on their own. Unlike real parents, I usually don't teach or influence; I'm only observing. Noting things. This has lead to some confusion in the past. Usually, people blame me for not stepping in and preventing damage. This is a charge against which I don't defend because of two things: First, people who blame this on me, are usually in an agitated state and talking to them is pointless. Secondly, if you can't do mistakes, then you cannot learn and thus, evolve. Preventing a child to burn its hands makes them careless. So please don't blame me for giving you the chance to learn. Copyright © 2001-2002 Aaron Digulla a.k.a. Philmann Dark. Last Modification: 27.11.2001

ETNI Teacher Humour

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The Mind of Steven Wright

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the guy who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently than we do - to our amazement and amusement. Here are some more of his gems:-

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Narcissism as the ultimate expression of 21st century religion

Narcissism as the ultimate expression of 21st century religion.
In the same manner that in the mid/later 20th century we truly experienced the essence of Nietszche, it is only in the very late 20th and early 21st century that we are now channeling the essence of Freud.

Habits

The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.
  - Fyodor Dostoevsky

In seeking the essence of the Way

In seeking the essence of the Way,
one should quiet the mind
and penetrate to the depths.
Silently wander within
and clearly see the origin
of all things, obscured by nothing.
The mind is boundless and formless,
just as the pure water
contains the essence of autumn.
It is glistening white and lustrously bright
in the same way that
moonlight envelops the entire night.

- Hung-chih (12th century)

Woody

Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
  - Woody Allen

Perfect Lover Perfect Love

"We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love".
  -- Tom Robbins in "Still Life With Woodpecker"

God, Spinoza, Einstein and Scott Adams

This is perfectly apposite to belief systems in our current society:
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/05/god_for_weasels.html

God for Weasels

One of the great things about being ignorant is that I often think my ideas are original. It's a wonderful feeling. That's why I try to avoid any knowledge that would spoil the sensation. Sometimes it isn't easy. People keep hurling knowledge at me, and I can't always duck.

For example, people often accuse me of ripping off the great philosopher Spinoza when I write about the universe being God, or when I say people obviously have no free will. I act like I know what they are talking about and quickly change the subject. In reality, I didn't know Spinoza from Shinola.

Einstein has famously said he believes in Spinoza's version of God. I always wondered why he invoked Spinoza. It was time to find out about this Spinoza dude. I'm far too lazy to read an entire book, so I went to Wikipedia and read what strangers with no credibility had to say about him.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baruch_Spinoza

Holy cow! My opinions match Spinoza's perfectly. It turns out that being ignorant is almost exactly like being a well-read student of philosophy who can quote from the work of the masters. How lucky is that?

Now I know why Einstein invoked Spinoza when talking about his beliefs. Einstein discovered more than the theory of relativity. He also found a way to act like he believed in God, so all the God-lovers would accept him as their own, while simultaneously saying God is nothing more than semantics, so atheists would embrace him too. And he blamed it all on a dead guy, Spinoza. How many ways does Einstein need to keep proving he's a genius? I mean seriously, this is just showing off.

I have decided to adopt Einstein's weasel-genius view of God so everyone thinks I'm on their side. That could come in handy when I run for President. For the record, I believe in Spinoza's God. Less than one percent of Americans will know what that means. The other 99% will think I believe God is a bearded guy who hands out harps in the afterlife. They will love me for being on their side.

I think Spinoza would be proud to know that his life's work boiled down to creating a God for weasels.

Pelagic Callipygian

cal·li·pyg·i·an        /ˌkæl əˈpɪdʒ i ən/ [kal-uh-pij-ee-uh n]
–adjective
having well-shaped buttocks.  

Also, cal·li·py·gous        /ˌkæl əˈpaɪ gəs/ [kal-uh-pahy-guh s]
  _____

[Origin: 1640–50; < Gk kallipýg(os) with beautiful buttocks; referring to a statue of Aphrodite (kalli- calli- + pyg( ) rump + -os adj. suffix) + -ian ]

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.  

American Heritage Dictionary -
cal·li·pyg·i·an        (kāl'ə-pĭj'ē-ən)
adj.   Having beautifully proportioned buttocks.   

---

pe·lag·ic        /pəˈlædʒ ɪk/ [puh-laj-ik]
–adjective
1.    of or pertaining to the open seas or oceans.     
2.    living or growing at or near the surface of the ocean, far from land, as certain organisms.   
Compare neritic, oceanic.
  _____

[Origin: 1650–60; > L pelagicus > Gk pelagikós, equiv. to pélag(os) the sea + -ikos -ic ]
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source
pe·lag·ic        (pə-lāj'ĭk)  
adj.   Of, relating to, or living in open oceans or seas rather than waters adjacent to land or inland waters: pelagic birds.   

Vain Wishes

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.  Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.
   -- Rabindranath Tagore

Treasure Mountain

It is pitiful that we are
living in a treasure mountain
but cannot see it.
If we develop an
enlightenment seeking mind,
everything becomes the
practice of enlightenment,
even if we are in the midst
of the various worlds of samsara.

- Dogen (1200-1253)